Words may sting, but AAhhh!! the Silent treatment.

Are you a victim of Rejection, a subtle manipulation??

There are scenarios in our family, friendship, at work place where people intentionally give silent treatment to subtly manipulate the situation. Ostracism- the Silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without having physical marks.

Few people make it a weapon of choice to execute the act of Ostracism-the Silent treatment. Modern research shows that the act of ignoring or excluding affects the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.

In any relationship, argument is inevitable at times. But, the situation turns out to be worse when you dig deep into the event to figure out how the argument happened is all that matters.

Kipling Williams, a Psychologist who has studied Ostracism stated that

"when we ignore people and give them a silent treatment, we in one way intent to punish the person, manipulate the person, and people may not realize the emotional damage that is being done in the process".

And irony is that without any physical bruise, the pain still registers, deep into our subconscious mind and for long.

Ahh!!!! Being ignored is just so powerful.

Even a brief period of Ostracism – Silent treatment, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same, regardless of whether the cause is by strangers, close friends or enemies.

For Clarity, taking time to cool down after a heated transaction should not be confused with Ostracism.

Who does not want to get noticed??

Being noticed is so close to being loved, being cared for. Human beings by instinct are very loving by nature. It’s their Judgmental attitude that plays all the game.

Few people who are very desperate attention seekers choose Ostracism-The Silent treatment as a weapon which can be very dangerous silent killer for the victim. We need to be careful not to encourage them by constantly nurturing their childish behavior.

Also, while the silent treatment is understood as a response to a specific behavior, there on the other hand estrangement (another condition) may have the flavor of a mystery. Estrangement is a condition where one or both of us have given up on the other the hope and scope of improvement in communication.

The pain in both the case is intense. In due time, it may eat away your self-esteem, confidence, and quality of life.

So the solution to this is First, Embrace and experiment with a healthy dose of communication which may be far more effective.

If it still does not work out, we may need reality check to figure out if we are estranged. If yes, then it is advisable we resolve to keep our distance to maintain our peace of mind.